Like a lot of people in the North-West of England, I was raised Catholic. And, like most of those, I got better.

But 16 years of indoctrination through education can’t fail to leave its mark on you. There are little things, of course – like knowing that Zebedee isn’t just one of the characters in the Magic Roundabout - which make you realise that you weren’t raised with the same heathen beliefs as, say, the CofE¹ kids.

Jesus, yesterday

This probably isn’t the case in many other countries, but the nature of religion (and religious education) in the UK means that every Catholic school is going to be around the corner from at least one Church of England school. This makes them handy scapegoats for anything that goes wrong in the local area – vandalism, littering, mouthing off the lollipop man etc.

Add to this the fact that Anglicanism does its best to make itself accessible to all-comers, and you can see why it’s easy for a Catholic to look down his nose at them. They let anyone in, you see. They sing in Church (songs, rather than just dirging out some hymns). They stopped doing Latin decades before the Catholics did.

All of which makes it understandable why a hardline Catholic would think Anglicans were a) doing it wrong and b) going to Hell – but it doesn’t really explain why I still believe that, when – having been an atheist for well over a decade – I don’t really believe that anyone is hellbound. Not even priests vicars who wear tank tops.

The other frightening instance of indoctrination occurs every time I attend a church service (that’d be weddings and funerals, then). If you asked me on any given day, I could quote maybe the first line of one or two common prayers or hymns, and that’s about it. When I’m inside a church, however, I become one with the Collective – instantly remembering every single word of every single hymn I have ever known, and what I’m supposed to do at every part of the service.

This is rather unsettling, particularly as it’s often years between attendances.

It’s not all bad, I suppose; while I may no longer believe that an invisible man in the sky – with a beard – transubstantiated himself into his only son (whilst staying himself as well, naturally) so that he could then be killed by us for our sins and return back to himself (his own father) so he could both wait for us in his kingdom in the sky, where we get to go and live forever (after we die, of course – and then only if we were good, and preferably not too rich)² – it did mean I got raised with some core values. And a lot of really weird ones.

I think there’s probably a better way to get across the main “don’t be shit to each other” idea, mind…

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¹That’s ‘Church of England’ for any foreigners reading. They’re basically Pagans, but with even worse fashion (and sillier beards).
²Although now that I’ve put it like that, I find myself reconsidering my atheism…

Posted by Dave in Bastardry, Politics (26/03/2010 at 17:10).
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