Dealing with unpleasant aspects of our partners’ personalities is something we’ve all had to deal with before – those of us who’ve managed to acquire and retain parters, that is (top tip : if you’ve never had to address a partner’s less agreeable traits, it’s because your own are unassailable).

Some of you may be familiar with Blogmella, my other half. She might seem like a reasonably erudite, relatively funny and generally affable person (for a woman, anyway), but there is a darker side to her. A quite frankly bigoted side.

You see, she just  can’t stand ugly people. And I don’t mean in the ordinary “doesn’t want to sleep with or even touch them” way. We can’t even watch TV programmes featuring ugly people without my having to put up with her violent and disgusted reactions.

She thinks Father Ted would be a much better programme without both Mrs Doyle and Father Jack. She turned away from the screen every time Admiral Adama appeared when we were watching Battlestar Galactica.

I’ve given up on trying to watch The Goonies (although  to be fair, it is a parade of the minging from start to finish).

Obviously I’ve tried to educate Blogmella as to the error of her ways – you have to be tolerant of the differences in other people. Especially when they stubbornly insist on a right to exist within your line of sight. And there are definite benefits to a multiaesthetic society – for example, the more fuck ugly people I surround myself with, the prettier I become¹.

So, next time you’re reading her blog, possibly even agreeing with or laughing at something she’s written (doubtful) – just remember that she’d probably be offended by your mere presence. I mean, you’re on the internet after all. You’re a swamp donkey almost by definition.

Really, it’s only because I’m so tolerant and understanding that I put up with it (and she’s only a woman, so it’s not like anyone pays that much attention to what she’s saying…)

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¹If any of my real life friends are wondering if they fit into this category – yes, you do. Look in a mirror and check out your freakish asymmetric faces.

Posted by Dave in Bastardry, Blogmella (25/06/2010 at 12:00).
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